Recruits 1
by Natas
Summary: Meow! *HISSSS* (Translation: I hate summarys! JUST READ IT!) R&R s'il vous plait!
1. Recruits 1

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Recruits

Author: Natas

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Rated: PG for incessant use of the word "smurf."

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Summary: Meow!

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Disclaimer: I own my brain, but that's on E-bay with the highest bid of $2.52 and rising... ever so slowly.

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Authors Note: I may continue this, I may not! But, I'm positive it's a yes.

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More Notes: RIGHTS FOR SCOTT!

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Even More Notes: I know the element of surprise! BOO!!!! Did I scare ya?

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Is That My _Final_ Note?: Yes, yes it is.

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"Are you sure about this, Professor?" Jean Grey asked.

"Yes. Cerebro has picked up many different mutants, and we need to at least check them out." Professor Charles Xavier replied.

"But-"

"Quiet you! Now let the new candidates in."

"You mean that they're already here?" Asked Jean, puzzled.

"Geez! You think that'd I'd give Magneto a chance to get at them first?"

"I guess you have a point."

"Of course I do, now send in the first candidate." Xavier said calmly as he sat up.

"NOW SERVING NUMBER ONE!!" Jean screamed in military fashion.

A very pale, almost purple, man walked in with his hands behind his back.

"Now, sir. May I ask what your name is?" Xavier asked.

"Edward." The man said sheepishly.

"Last name?"

"Scissor Hands." He almost looked as if he turned red, but it was just a deeper purple.

"I see. What is your gift?"

"I - uh - have scissor hands." He brought his hands out from behind his back to show them.

"AH!" Jean screeched. "How did you get past security?!"

"Quiet you!" Xavier yelled as he smacked her butt.

"Oh, sorry."

"Is there anything else you can do?" Xavier asked.

"I don't think there is-"

"Quite enough, thank you very much. Don't call us, we'll call you! Chow, babe!" Xavier yelled as Jean pushed Edward out of the room.

"NOW SERVING NUMBER TWO!!" She yelled.

After she yelled, the door opened, but no one came in. They waited a few seconds before they saw a large amount of little blue things walk in that were no larger then thimbles.

"Oh, look at the little things. Aren't they cute?" Xavier asked.

"Hello, sir. We are as you call smurf-"

"AAAAHHHH!!! BUGS!!!!!!" Jean screamed and promptly stomped the entire community of smurfs, including the baby one. From the outside, they heard someone give out a little 'HURRAH!'

"That was rather interesting." Exclaimed Xavier.

"NOW SERVING NUMBER SEVENTEEN!!" Jean yelled.

"What happened to numbers three to sixteen?"

"Don't ask me, I'm not the one writing this stupid thing." They each gave evil glares to the guy sitting at his computer, all alone in his room.

"What? I'm bored!" I yelled.

"Well, can't we actually do something other then kill the coolest blue things on Earth, or turning away the hottest guy on Earth?" Jean asked.

"NO!! I HAVE CONTROL! NOW YOU SHALL DO MY BIDING OR DIE!!!"

"Hey! My lawyers will sue you!" Xavier yelled.

"You mean these people?" I said as two men in suits magically appeared in front of me in chains.

"Dick! Hardy! What has he DONE to you!?" Jean screamed.

"I don't know, but I liked it." The first man, Dick, said.

"Please sir, may I have another?" The second, Hardy, said.

"*BWAH HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA*" I yelled as I made them both disappear into a cloud of multicolored smoke.

"Hey, where'd they go?" Jean asked.

"West Hollywood."

"Why there?"

"Do I REALLY need to have a reason? I mean, think about it."

"You're gay?" Xavier said hopefully.

"NO! ARG! They're gay!"

"Oh..." Scott said from the other side of the door followed by heavy foot steps walking away.

"What was that all about?" Xavier asked.

"I don't know, I didn't want him in this fic."

"Oh. Okay." Jean said.

"What are we going to do now?" Logan asked, coming out of a dark corner.

"I don't know. Wanna have a party?"

"Why not." Said Kitty, Piotr, and Bobby who came out of nowhere.

"Okay." I said as a rave suddenly came into play.

"WEEEE!"

"DAMNIT! I HATE raves!" I screamed.

"You still here?" Jean asked.

"Not for long! Just do me a favor and get those people with the nice white jackets, and padded hotel rooms over here."

"No problem."

Out of nowhere, four men in white lab coats strapped me into a over sized sweater and dragged me to a nice and padded hotel room.

"WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What are we going to do tomorrow night, Brain?" A slanky, white, albino mouse asked out of no where.

"Same thing we do every night, Pinky. TRY TO TAKE OVER THE X-MEN WORLD!!"

~FIN~

(...or is it?)

(yeah, it is.)

(unless you want me to make another?)

(you hate me, don't you?)

(hee hee hee. I like parenthesis)


	2. Recruits 2: Revenge Of The Author

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Recruits 2: Revenge Of The Author

Author: Natas

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Disclaimer: I did it! *BWAH HA HA HA HAAA* I FINALLY got my revenge! At least, I'm gonna. What? (*murmuring is heard off stage*) FINE! I don't own the X-Men... If I did, here's a glimpse at the torment they'd go through. Oh yeah, everyone else belongs to whoever made them.

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Summary: We all went to the play boy mansion. Partied with the Marilyn Manson's. (PS: MEOW!)

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Authors Note: I'm sooo sick right now. You know what THAT means folks! It's gonna be crazy kooky! *COUGH* *COUCH* *WHEEEEZZZZ* I'm okay.

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Final Notes From Your Beloved Author: RIGHTS FOR SCOTT!

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~Telepathic Message**~**

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~In our LAST episode of Recruits~

~Jean found true love... with SCOTT!?~

~The Smurfs were destroyed, god rest their little souls and cool hats~

~And everyone's favorite author was sent to a crazy house~

~Now, on with this episode~

Through the piles of ruble caused by the chaos of the one, the only, the stupid NATAS master of the X-Men! "*BWAH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAA* *COUGH* *WHEEEEEZ* Ah, crap! I better wait till I feel better."

(*Seven days and seven nights pass and we find ourselves at the Mansion in which the X-Men reside*)

"I got dibs on the TV!" Jubilee, everyone's favorite mall rat screamed as she jumped over the couch and in front of the television.

"No fair!" Bobby yelled. "I mean, you got to watch _Live or Let Die_ yesterday on BOX, the cheep rip off of FOX." Bobby smiled and winked to no one in particular.

"Who ya talkin' ta Bobster?" Logan asked as he walked in with... A BOTTLE OF WATER?? WHAT!?

"No one." He said and watched as Logan unsheathed his claws only to cut off the top of the bottle.

"Uh, Wolvie?" Jubilee started as she stared at, what was supposed to be, Logan.

"What, Darlin'?"

"Are you... okay? You look a little, um, pale."

Logan finished the bottle of water and handed it to a very surprised Bobby and said, "Recycle this, will ya?"

"Um, sure." Bobby said, not sure what else to say.

"Hey, Bub. Doesn't this story have to be set somewhere else? Like in the recruitment office?" Logan asked the ceiling. That was it, Jubilee was positive something was wrong with Logan.

Down in the lower levels (I know how much people love to write about them), Professor Charles Xavier and Jean Grey sat, sipping tea, when they heard what sounded like Jubilee screaming 'get back here you Wolvie wanna be!' But they didn't pay any mind. They just needed to relax before the inevitable happened.

"Shouldn't it be illegal for this guy to write fiction?" Jean Grey asked, looking up from her tea, and her make up running making her look like the worst whore anyone's ever seen.

"What guy?" Professor Xavier asked, trying not to laugh.

"This Natas guy. I mean, you've seen what he does! He can't even get his universes right! What verse are we in??"

"What do you mean?" Professor asked as he watched her mascara run down her neck.

"What universe ARE we!? Are we movieverse? Canonverse? WHAT!?"

"I believe he calls this the 'Nataverse'." He said back, trying ever so hard not to laugh at her 'waterproof' makeup.

"Nataverse?" She asked, dabbing a little at herself with her napkin, totally missing all the makeup which had been running down her face.

"Yes, it is like a specialverse. Where he takes the best of all the universes and puts them in any way he wishes. Why do you think Jubilee is with Logan, and you're still the doctor?"

"I don't know! I don't even know what half the stuff is! Why can't he just write Beast in this fic?" She asked, her makeup miraculously fixed and perfect.

"Why, I am right here!" Beast, also known as Dr. Hank McCoy, said from a dark corner.

"Where were you the last fic!?" She half yelled, half asked him.

"I - uh - you see... LOOK OVER THERE!" He screamed as he pointed to the opposite corner where a lone spider web could be seen. As the Professor and Jean looked 'over there', soft foot steps were heard as Beast began running away.

"Oh, that's a beautiful spider web!" Jean said as she turned to where Beast once was. But instead, everyone's favorite author (that's me you idiots!) was standing there.

"Hello, I'm BBAAAAAAACCKK!!!" I yelled for no reason, since it was obvious.

"Wow! How did you extend the C and K sound like that? I've never heard anything like that!" The Professor exclaimed.

"Quiet you! No body likes a bald man in a wheel chair who's smarter then them!" I said back.

"*HISSSSSSS*" Logan hissed (duh) as he jumped at me, ready to defend his love.

"Logan! You're my HERO!" The Professor yelled as he was saved by the only man he could truly love.

"Oh please." I said as I couched on him, making him so sick that even his healing factor couldn't save him (but since he's so cool, he only passed out from my bad breath. Happy?).

"What are you going to do to us?" Jean asked as I pulled out my computer and started setting it up.

"I'm gonna WRITE!" I said in my scariest voice, which actually sounded like a toad in a blender.

"Wait, I thought you were banned from writing?" The Professor asked as he wheeled closer to me.

"Well, as long as I'm here, no one will come after me."

"But we'll call the police!"

"And risk reveling yourself to public eye? I think not!"

"Yes, but - uh - SCOTT! NOW!"

All of a sudden, Scott Summers jumped out of the shadows (which there are way to much of) and smacked me over the head with a piano.

"Where'd that Piano come from?" Skin asked.

"Where'd you come from?" Scott asked back.

"I - I - I DON'T KNOW!" He said and ran screaming back into the eerie shadows of no return.

"Everyone stand back! I'm going to try and find out why he writes this CRAP!" Professor yelled as many people, most of whom anyone has ever seen, started crowding around the body of me, Natas.

~Natas, let me into your mind.~ The professor started.

~Okay, the back door's open. Grab somethin' ta drink and join me! I'm in the living room.~ I said from inside my mind.

(*Many hours pass before the Professor finally comes out of his trance*)

A very bored until then Scott suddenly blurted, "I DIDN'T DO IT! I mean, what did you see Professor?"

"It's to hard!"

"Try." Jean Grey comforted.

"He - He - " The Professor started to cry, "HE'S ONLY HUMAN!!"

"That makes no sense!" Logan stated, finally waking up.

"Let him have his fun. No one's complaining! Anyways, it's in his nature to write non-sense like this."

"If you say so Professor." Scott said. With that, everyone started walking out leaving the Professor and the unconscious boy laying on the ground.

"Are they gone?" I asked.

"Yes, finally." The Professor said back, without even looking.

"Did they believe you?"

"Yes."

"Damn, I owe you a dollar."

"Pay up!"

"Fine," I said as I dug through my pockets and finally finding one crumpled up dollar. "Here!"

"Thanks."

"See ya next fic!"

"What? You're gonna write more!?"

"Well, it depends on the feedback."

"What are you going to write about?"

"I'll decide when I get there."

"Oh, okay. So what now?"

"Well, I have to apologize for making this part of this possible series."

"To who?"

"The readers."

"Readers?"

"Those people!" I said as I pointed to the ceiling at hundreds of eyes.

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" The Professor screamed as he had a heart attack.

"*BWAH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA*" I laughed as I ran off to think of a new fic to write for this series. "Oh yeah! Everyone who's read this far, REVIEW!!!!!"

~FIN~

Or is it?

WELL IT DEPENDS ON YOU!

Press one to except charges.

Thank you for using AT&T.

MEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Recruits 3: I Like Chicken

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Recruits 3

Author: Natas

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Disclaimer: Unless you want a nasty cold bug, I don't think I have anything worth taking. Anyways, I think it's written somewhere that we're allowed to write Marvel fiction as long as we recognize it's their idea... am I right? If not, why do they have fan fiction on their own site?! Wait... Damn... I forgot about the rest. If you recognize anyone else, or any other companies things, they belong to them.

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Summary: Do you want me to REALLY spoil the story? *YAWN* I'm to tired to make one up anyways...

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Authors Note: I'm damned sick right now, and tired... Also, I'm wired on caffeine and cough syrup! WOO HOO!

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~In the last two episodes...~

~In our LAST episode of Recruits~

~Jean found true love... with SCOTT!?~

~The Smurfs were destroyed, god rest their little souls and cool hats~

~And everyone's favorite author was sent to a crazy house~

~But he narrowly escaped~

~Now he's back to reign terror in the hearts of everyone's favorite fictives!~

~And now on with the *COUGH* crappy *COUGH* story! Damn cold...~

"Does he ever shut up?" Jean Grey asked. "And why am I always in his stories?! I HATE HIS STORIES!"

A sudden shock of lightening came from no where and hit Jean in the head, frying her completely. Two seconds later, a new Jean popped out of no where.

"I love Natas and his stories! And I'm not going to be the stupid two-timing slut I always am in everyone else's stories!" She said in all monotone, as if reading from a cue card.

"Ha ha, that's right Jean." Professor Charles Xavier said as he shook with fear. "Now call in our first vict - er - mutant."

"Right away Professor." Jean said, obviously calming down a little bit. "Now calling number seventeen!"

"Wait, didn't we already DO number seventeen?" The Professor asked, slightly confused.

"We were about to," Jean said and turned her eyes back to the ceiling, "But our god Natas decided to throw a rave."

"I didn't throw a rave! I threw a party that turned INTO a rave! Damn raves..." I said from a dark corner.

"Oh, ssoorrrryy!" Jean said and was instantly zapped again, but only slightly this time. "Right-O! On with the fic."

"Yes, quiet right!" The Professor exclaimed.

"Calling number seventeen!" Jean said with a quiver in her voice.

The door opened and in walked a, well, I would guess anime thing. He looked about ten to twelve and had a hat with a stupid mountain looking thing on it.

Just as the Professor was about to commence the interview, everyone's favorite blue mutant *BAMFED* into view, along with another individual no one had ever really seen in this universe.

"Oh my!" Nightcrawler, also known as Kurt, exclaimed.

"Oh great! Not again!" The unknown said. It was a girl who, more then obviously, was into Nightcrawler. She carried a doll of him and wore nothing but blue. And on the front of her shirt, it said 'Official Nightcrawler Fan Girl'.

"Who are you?" Everyone, but Nightcrawler, asked in unison.

"I'm, uh," She looked a bit nervous, "Wait... Aren't you the X-MEN!? OH MY GOD!" She screamed and immediately composed herself again. "My name is Trah!"

"Trah... Trah... La la la, la la la." Jubilee said as she walked in, followed by another girl.

"Who's that!?" Everyone asked again.

"Chigliak." Jubilee said and quickly turned around and deeply kissed her.

"Vhoa, go Jubes!" Nightcrawler whooped.

"Kurt! Don't ogle her!" Trah said as she turned his face around to meet hers. Before he could say anything, they too were deeply kissing.

Just then, Bobby walked in. "Whoa! What's going on!?"

"Umm... Aren't I to young for this?" The new recruit asked.

"Oh yeah! Back to the actual story! Sorry Trah and Chigliak." I said and quickly made everyone *BAMF* or *POOF* away. "Go on Professor."

"Where is the Professor?" Jean asked.

"Over here," He said as he rolled out of a oddly placed doorway.

"Rriigghhtt..." Jean said.

"Now, new one, may I ask your name?"

The boy was obviously prepared for that question. "I am Ash Katchem from the town of Pallet! And I am a Pokemon MASTER!"

"Rriigghhtt..." Jean said again.

"I see," The Professor said. "Now what is your gift?"

"I can make little red and white balls (don't laugh) fly out of my hand, and with a red flash, creatures appear."

"Could you please demonstrate?" The Professor asked, slightly amused.

"Uh... My agent didn't say anything about that." Ash said, obviously annoyed.

"Agent?"

"Look! I'm a busy man! I don't have time for this! Either I'm in or out. Did my agent give you the list?"

"List?"

"Yes! Demands! If I am to be part of your team, I demand my own room, my own show, my own lunch box, and my own comic."

"Comic? My dear son, we're not affiliated with the COMIC universe."

"Then why the hell did you drag me all the way out here?" He said, looking at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying not to look scared.

"I got a call from someone named Natas saying that I could get my own comic! All I want is a comic! Is that to much to ask for!?" He said, getting some scary looking anime face thing going on.

"I guess not -"

"Pikachu! I choose you!" With that, a yellow mouse thing jumped off of his shoulder and right at me.

"AH! NOT PIKACHU!! Wait, Pikachu sucks!"

The little yellow mouse thing didn't like that and promptly electrocuted me, leaving me charred and standing very oddly before falling over.

"That should take care of him for a while!" Jean said as my body lay lifeless once again.

"What should we do?" Ash asked.

"I believe it is time to RUN!!!!" The Professor yelled as his new jet pack wheel chair came forth and took him out of there faster then a bat out of hell.

The remaining two just shrugged and walked out.

I laid there, not moving for a while longer. Finally, as the camera zoomed in closer to my face, a cloud of smoke escaped my lips. "Damn, that's good shit."

~FIN~

(You should know it's really not!)

(Idiot!)

(PS: RIGHTS FOR SCOTT!)


	4. Recruits 4: Sit Around The Roasting Jean...

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Recruits 4: Sit Around The Roasting Jean Grey

Author: You know, right? RIGHT!?

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Disclaimer: Yadda yadda yadda, I don't OWN the X-Men. Blah blah blah, I don't OWN anything else! Meow meow meow, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener...

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Summary: How 'bout, you read the story and give ME a summary?? I like that idea.

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Authors Notes: Everyone wish me luck with my applying to the CSSSA! (California State Summer School for the Arts) I'm applying for creative writing! And if I get accepted, I may be able to write fics with a plot!!!!

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More Notes: Rights For Scott!

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"Number eighteen!" Jubilee shouted.

"Where's Jean?" Logan asked.

"Where's the Professor?" She asked in return.

"I think he went on strike. Something about unfair something or other."

"Oh, I think Jean went with him." Jubilee said as the door opened slowly.

Before their eyes, four oddly shaped creatures walked in.

"Eh-oh!" They all shouted at once.

"It's... It's... IT'S THE TELETUBBIES!!!!" Jubilee shouted in utter fear for her life.

"Tinky Winky!" The purple one that was carrying a red purse and had a upside down triangle on it's head said.

"Dipsie!" The green one said right after the purple one.

"Lala!" The yellow one followed.

"Poe." The little red one said shyly.

"What in flamin' hell are those!?" Logan shouted in horror.

"You idiot! We're Teletubbies!" The red one shouted in a mighty deep voice.

To everyone's surprise (even the TV audience), all the things removed their heads.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Jubilee shouted.

"Oh... My... Sabretooth??" Logan said in disbelief.

"Why do **_I_** have to be the purple one?" Sabretooth asked in a unheard of whiney tone of voice, quiet unlike his usual self.

"Because, you idiot! We have no other way to break into the mansion!" Said the yellow one with his head on backwards, sounding a lot like Magneto.

"Umm... Maggy, hon. We're already _in_ the mansion." The green one said as it morphed into the fem fatal known as Mystique, only this time with CLOTHES!

"Ppooooeee!" The little one said.

"TOAD! Get out of character! We need to do the usual bad guy thing!" Magneto said.

"Don't worry, mes amis! Gambit is here t' save ya!" Gambit said as he ran out of the shadows.

"You're my hero!" A voice said as the figure ran out of the shadows behind Gambit.

"Tara! N't now! Rogue migh' find moi wit' you!" He said as he ran after Toad who was still dressed as Poe.

"I already did." A voice with a southern accent said.

"Who are you?" Tara asked.

"I'm Rogue, you ninny!"

"You don't LOOK like rogue!" Tara said in a skeptical voice.

"It was that stupid movie, wasn't it?"

"Uh - uh - YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Tara said not sure what to say, so instead jumped on Rogue.

"You shall pay, you yank!" Rogue said as she socked Tara in the stomach.

"So, what a' ya doin' afta' da fic?" Remy asked Sabretooth who was still dressed as Tinky Winky.

"Jubilee! I'm callin' you out!" A face known only as 8-) said.

"AH! A GIANT EMOTIONIC! AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" Jubilee said as she ran into the cartoonish fight between Rogue and Tara.

"I'll get you! You shall suffer!" 8-) said.

"Reow! Cat fight!" Logan said.

"Hey, has anyone seen Gambit and Sabretooth?" Tara said as she stuck her head out of the cartoonish fight.

"MON CHER! I NEVER KNEW!" Gambit screamed from the shadows.

"GAMBIT! HOW COULD YOU!" Tara and Rogue screamed in unison.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Rogue asked Jubilee.

Jubilee, who was being beaten up by 8-) said "I hope it involves getting rid of these authors!"

"Yes it does, my dear Jubilee. Yes it does."

"What did I miss?" I, everyone's favorite author, asked as I came back with my cherry coke.

"What do you mean 'what did I miss'?! Look! You're writing the flamin' thing!" Logan yelled.

"No, I've been sleeping, then I took some medicine, then I got a coke, then I went and got rid of the evil leprechauns, then I -"

"SHUT UP AND FIX THIS!" Scott said from out of no where.

"Alright. First's things first. 8-)? You have to go away. Jubilee is to cool to be beaten up."

In a blinding flash of light, 8-) was gone.

"And now you Tara and Rogue. I'll split Gambit up in four ways for all of you."

"Four?" Rogue asked.

"For the two of you." I said as Marie, that stupid girl, walked into view.

"All I want is Logan!" Marie squealed.

"No, I'm sick of this stupid Logan and Marie thing! Logan belongs to Mariko! Or Silver Fox! Maybe even Jean Grey!"

"Hey!" Scott said.

"Oh yeah, and maybe the slash Scott."

"That's better." Scott said.

"Now with everyone else. Shame on you! Do you know what ethics are!?"

"No." Everyone said as they hung their heads in shame.

"Damn, nor do I. Hey, what about a three letter word that means the same as 'end'?"

"What language?" Mystique asked.

"I think French."

"Mon dieu! Remy t'inks he's got it!"

"What is it?" Everyone asked him.

"Fin!"

"Like on a fish?" Toad asked as he walked in through the door, holding a red thing under his arm.

Everyone did a double take at Toad and Toad. At least, Toad and who they thought was Toad.

"Which one's the real Toad!?" Everyone shouted.

"Poe?" Poe asked.

"I'm Toad!" Toad said, "He's the real Poe. I saw him and told him to take my place. I'm tired of this whole thing! I just want to settle down with all of my fans! ALL OF MY FANS!" (*hint* *hint*)

"I'm back from Borabora!" I said as I walked through the door.

"Oh no! Didn't you just walk in?" Logan asked.

"No, who's that?" I asked as I pointed at someone that looked like me.

"I'm the real Natas! Ah, forget it." The other me said as he morphed into his old self, Evil Morph.

"MORPH! I NEVER TOLD YOU TH-" Logan said, but was cut short.

"Wrong story, smart ass." I said.

"So what's going on?"

"I don't know, but I'll fix it!" I said as I made everything *POOF* into what I saw fit.

Off in the corner, Scott and Logan were cuddling. Jubilee was with Chigliak and they were doing the dirty chicken. Jean was roasting over an open fire. The Professor was caught in a mosh pit. And everyone else was sitting around the roasting Jean singing campfire songs.

"Just as it should be." I said and walked into the shadows, leaving everyone to clean up the mess after me.

Gambit ran up to one of the secret cameras I hid in the room and screamed...

~FIN~

(Come on now, I'm gonna keep writing this.)

(I have to!)

(It's my duty as a sick minded writer!)

(PS: Rights for Scott!)


	5. Recruits 5: This Is The Song That Never ...

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Recruits 5: This Is The Song That Never Ends...

Author: The ever so lovable Natas! WEE!

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Disclaimer: *BWAH HA HA HA HAAAAAA* I OWN THEM ALL! All them apples I mean! Everyone else belongs to their respectful owner (Is that enough ass kissing?).

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Summary: Why do I even bother with this part? Really! WHY!?

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Authors Notes: *SNIFF* I'm getting better! NO! My mind isn't as warped and this may (and I regret saying it) be the last! I'll leave it open for a sequel, but I'm not promising anything.

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Give me a dollar and I'll give you a note: I REALLY WANTED SOME PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO LIKED TOAD TO BE IN THIS ONE, BUT NO ONE FESSED UP! (*looks at you all with the evil eye*)

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Possibly the last notes for this series *sniff*: RIGHTS FOR SCOTT!

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"Number ninety-seven!" Lamb Chop screamed at the top of her (it's) lungs.

"What are we doing here?" Charlie Horse asked as he wheeled his wheelchair into the room.

"I have NO idea." She answered.

Just then, the door opened and in walked Apocalypse.

"Who are you!?" Hush Puppy asked as he sat in the shadows.

"Apocalypse, you stupid sock puppet!" He snapped.

"Hey! I resemble that remark!" They all shouted in unison.

"Rriigghhtt... Where's Jean and the Professor? And who are you?"

"Who are you?" Charlie Horse asked.

"I already answered you!" He shouted as usual.

"No, you answered him!" He said as he pointed to Hush Puppy as he was... erm... cleaning himself.

"That's disgusting! I'm reporting you all to the-"

"GET BACK HERE YOU PESKY PUPPY THINGS!" A bald man with a funny shaped head yelled as he ran past Apocalypse.

"Catch us if you can!" The one with the pants said.

"Wait!" Apocalypse yelled, "WHO ARE ALL OF YOU! AND WHERE'S THE PROFESSOR AND JEAN!?"

"I'm Yakko!" The one with pants said.

"I'm Wakko!" The one without pants said as he made a 'spew' face.

"And I'm," The girl one took a ddeeeepp breath, "Dot. What'd ya expect?"

"And who are YOU?" Hush Puppy asked.

"I ALREADY ANSWERED YOU!" He screamed in a very girly voice.

"Did you? I don't remember."

"Potty!" Wakko yelled as he ran around the room.

"What did I do to deserve this?" Apocalypse asked the ceiling like so many stupid characters do in fics.

"I don't know, you just kinda fit the part." I said to him from my computer which was set up right in front of him. I waved at him.

"Wanna be our special friend?" Yakko said, interrupting any chance of him finding anything else out from me.

"NO! Now leave me alone!" He yelped.

"I think you do!" He said as he and the other two of his kind grabbed him and dragged him into the shadows and back into their universe.

"NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screeched in the highest, girliest, pants much to tight way possible.

"This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was. And they continued singing it forever just because. This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was. And they continued singing it forever just because. This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was. And they continued singing it forever just because. This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was. And they continued singing it forever just because. This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was. And they continued singing it forever just because. This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was. And they continued singing it forever just because. This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was. And they continued singing it forever just because. This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was. And they continued singing it forever just because. This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was. And they continued singing it forever just because. This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was. And they continued singing it forever just because. This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was. And they continued singing it forever just because. This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was. And they continued singing it forever just because." Lamb Chop, Charlie Horse, and Hush Puppy sang as they walked into the shadows that lead to their dimension. (I feel bad for you if you read all of that.)

"That was a nice break from all of this OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED!" The Professor screamed as he walked into the recruitment office and being met by a huge mess of what was once sanity.

"The dimension transferences are off the chart!" Beast yelled from out of no where, being that he wasn't even anywhere or anything like that.

"OH TRAH!" Nightcrawler yelled as he and Trah fell out of the shadows, wildly making out.

"OH CHIGLIAK!" Jubilee yelled as she and Chigliak fell out of some other shadows.

"OH 8-)!" A shadow yelled as it fell out of the... um... what DO shadows fall out of?

"WHAT IS GOING ON!?" The Professor demanded.

"OH SCOTT!" Logan yelped (that's right, yelped) as he and Scott fell out of the Blackbird doing more then making out (*evil grin here*).

"I did not expect that..." The Professor sighed.

"OH BEAST AND ORORO!" Jean said as she walked through the doors.

"That's getting real old, ya know?" The Professor said to me.

"Yeah, I know. What do you expect?" I answered.

"Hey, can you make Toad go for me? He's so cute and green!" The Professor sighed with a glint of lust in his eyes.

"I think I'm done here!" I yelled as I packed up my computer and all of my other stuff that didn't exist in any other fics, but there sure was a lot of.

"You're going?" Scott asked as he came up for air much to Logan's disappointment.

"YES! Now are you going to see me out, or what?" I said in a REAL snobby voice.

"HA HA HA! YOU'RE LEAVING! YOU'RE LEAVING!" They all shouted in unison and started murmuring amongst themselves.

As I slowly walked to the end of the driveway, everyone stood at the door of the mansion and waved me good-bye.

"Ya'll come back now, ya hear?" Rogue and Marie yelled in unison, which erupted into a cat fight for some reason.

When they all thought I was gone, St. John spoke up, "You think he's gone for good?"

"No, I'm afraid not. People like him are usually the ones who come back for more. It's like a drug to them. It's pathetic actually."

Everyone generally agreed.

"Hey," Jean started, "At least he wasn't a Mary Sue type of person."

Just then, a woman with perfect hair, perfect muscles, a perfect figure, and extra white teeth walked up to them.

"Hi, I'm Mary. I'm here for the recruitment?"

~FIN~

(I hope not.)

(Ah, it is.)

(Hope ya'll liked it!)

(I'm gonna start a new series soon, so look out for it!)

(Once again, PLEASE wish me luck with the **CSSSA**!!!)

****

(PS: RIGHTS FOR SCOTT!)


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